Dealing With Self-Esteem During a Pandemic

"To thine own self be true."

Managing self-esteem is challenging enough without also living through a pandemic. The COVID-19 pandemic has made coping with self-esteem and mental health issues even more difficult.

As with so many mental health issues, one way to maintain healthy self-esteem when dealing with other challenges is by combatting the negative self-talk with more logical, positive talk. When negative thoughts flood your mind, force them out and give your self-confidence a lift. Self-esteem transcends the routine "ups and downs" linked with situations in life. Self-esteem is much more fundamental -- shaping reality and consequently impacting your overall quality of life.

Building and repairing self-esteem during difficult times such as a pandemic is challenging. Take time to come to grips with the new situations in life and accept new opportunities and new limitations. Be willing to make mistakes and see them as learning opportunities, not failures. Use this time to break old, destructive habits, and replace them with healthier habits that will help rebuild and reinforce your self-esteem. Here are eight hands-on things you can do to help you get started:

1. Make a list of 10 past successes. Small achievements count. Refer to this list three times a day for the next two weeks and allow yourself to fully recreate and experience all the positive feelings attached to each success.
2. Make a list of 10 of your positive qualities. Are you create? Compassionate? Unselfish? Accent your positives. Take time each day to smile and review your list! If it helps, stand in front of the mirror while doing so.
3. Schedule time for a hobby. Find at least one hour a day for a hobby or leisure activity that brings you peace and joy. If physical movement such as dance or exercise can be incorporated, even better!
4. Make a list of things that you feel good about. Before bed each night, make a list of 5 things that made you feel good that day. Nothing is too insignificant. For example, "The alarm went off. I got up and got dressed."
5. Write a small positive affirmation to yourself. Take colorful sticky notes and write positive affirmations. Stick them where you will be sure to see them -- on the computer, the bathroom mirror, refrigerator door, etc. Some of my favorites are, "I am a valuable, loveable person," "I am not perfect, but I am perfectible," and "Mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow." Use whatever language works best for you. Whenever you pass by one of the affirmations, read it out loud. Feel how it rolls off your tongue. Hear how the words sound and experience the positive feelings that flow as you reprogram your mind to handle the extra stress and anxiety.
6. Accept compliments. Is it easier for you to give compliments than receive them? Well, you too are worthy of praise! Accept the nice things others say about you. To make things easier, just say thank you until you feel more comfortable.
7. Flood your mind with positive, constructive input. Take time to read a good book or listen to a podcast on self-esteem. Listen to music that fills you with positive vibes. Close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you.
8. Spend time with others. One of the challenges with a pandemic is self-isolation. Make a commitment to find a social group, workshop, or peer-support group. These tasks may be more difficult because of COVID-19 but they are not impossible. In our area there are many resources that can help you get involved. NAMI Northern Virginia offers online activities and support programs to keep people connected. Fairfax County Park and Recreation have several online classes as well. There are loads others, but whatever you choose, make sure you feel comfortable and safe.

Managing self-esteem, along with many mental health issues that are exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic is a process and it doesn't happen overnight. Be patient and willing to go the distance. The more you progress in building or rebuilding your self-esteem, you'll become more and more satisfied with the person who emerges from your hard work.

**If you find steps 1, 2, or 4 challenging, your local bookstore might have economic journals for sale containing prompts that could help you get start.

​authored by Carolyn Shoop, a member of the NAMI Northern Virginia family